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[Two Actors. One on bended knee.]
A: Honey, I love you with all my heart and want to be with you always and forever. Will you–. B: Wait, wait! We can’t spoil this! [B takes a selfie. Cut to vows:] B: And I will love you, for better or worse, in sickness and–. A: Hang on, wait a minute! [A takes a selfie. Cut to:] B: Honey, it’s happened, we’re going to have a–. A: Stop! Stop right there! [A takes a selfie. Cut to the actors watching their baby take her first steps.] A: Look at her! Watch! She’s finally! She’s finally walk—. B: Yes! We need to! [B takes a selfie. Cut to:] A: Can’t believe she’s through prescho—[selfie] element—[selfie] middle—[selfie] high—[selfie] coll—[selfie]. [Cut to:] B: She’s pregnant! We going to be grandpar-- A: Wait—[selfie]! [Pause. A moment. Cut to:] B: Honey, this is real. I’m sick—. A: Stop—[selfie]. B: Nothing to cure—[selfie]. Spread—[selfie]. It’s done—[selfie]. [Cut to:] B: I’m done—[selfie]. [B’s gone. Cut to A, alone:] A: Honey—[no selfie]? Where did you go—[no selfie]? I’m all alone--[no selfie]. [Cut to:] A: Alone—[no selfie]. [No selfie. Cut to:] End.
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[A busy street corner. STEVE is asking for spare change as people whisk by. He is failing miserably.]
Steve: Excuse me –. I’m sorry, can I –. Have a blessed –. Trouble you for some –. Have a blessed day. [The street is bustling. STEVE gets an idea.] Steve: [Calling after someone.] Excuse me, sir. Sir! [A MAN stops and looks at Steve.] Steve: You dropped your pocket. [The MAN drops to the floor looking for his “pocket.” Nothing else matters.] Steve: [Laughing.] Sir, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it was a joke. Man: Please leave me alone! I’m looking for my pocket! [STEVE laughs. A group of GIRLS walk by.] Steve: Hey, girls! You dropped your pockets. [The GIRLS fall on all fours in a frantic search.] Girls: Oh, my God! Where’d it go! I need to find my pocket! [Another group enters.] Steve: Ya’ll dropped your pockets! [They fall. Another group enters. They fall. Another. And another. Again and again.] Steve: You dropped your pockets. Hey, you! Dropped your pocket. Excuse, ma’am! Dropped your pocket! [Steve continues until all are on their hands and knees surrounding him, searching madly for their “pockets.”] Steve: [Shit-eating grin.] Suckers. End. |
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April 2017
FootnotesSome thoughts on art, life, and theatre. Stay positive. Categories |
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