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Footnotes.

Five One-Minute Plays – Number Four: “Capture This”

3/31/2017

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[Two Actors. One on bended knee.]

A:
Honey, I love you with all my heart and want to be with you
always and forever. Will you–.

B:
Wait, wait! We can’t spoil this!

[B takes a selfie. Cut to vows:]

B:
And I will love you, for better or worse, in sickness and–.

A:
Hang on, wait a minute!

[A takes a selfie. Cut to:]

B:
Honey, it’s happened, we’re going to have a–.

A:
Stop! Stop right there!

[A takes a selfie. Cut to the actors watching their
baby take her first steps.]

A:
Look at her! Watch! She’s finally! She’s finally walk—.

B:
Yes! We need to!

[B takes a selfie. Cut to:]

A:
Can’t believe she’s through prescho—[selfie] element—[selfie]
middle—[selfie] high—[selfie] coll—[selfie].

[Cut to:]

B:
She’s pregnant! We going to be grandpar--

A:
Wait—[selfie]!

[Pause. A moment. Cut to:]

B:
Honey, this is real. I’m sick—.

A:
Stop—[selfie].

B:
Nothing to cure—[selfie]. Spread—[selfie]. It’s done—[selfie].

[Cut to:]

B:
I’m done—[selfie].

[B’s gone. Cut to A, alone:]

A:
Honey—[no selfie]? Where did you go—[no selfie]? I’m all alone--[no selfie].

[Cut to:]

A:
Alone—[no selfie].

[No selfie. Cut to:]

End.

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Five One-Minute Plays – Number Five: “Dropped Your”

3/30/2017

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[A busy street corner. STEVE is asking for spare change as people whisk by. He is failing miserably.]

Steve:
Excuse me –. I’m sorry, can I –. Have a blessed –. Trouble you for some –. Have a blessed day.

[The street is bustling. STEVE gets an idea.]

Steve:
[Calling after someone.] Excuse me, sir. Sir!

[A MAN stops and looks at Steve.]

Steve:
You dropped your pocket.

[The MAN drops to the floor looking for his “pocket.” Nothing else matters.]

Steve:
[Laughing.] Sir, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it was a joke.

Man:
Please leave me alone! I’m looking for my pocket!

[STEVE laughs. A group of GIRLS walk by.]

Steve:
Hey, girls! You dropped your pockets.

[The GIRLS fall on all fours in a frantic search.]

Girls:
Oh, my God! Where’d it go! I need to find my pocket!

[Another group enters.]

Steve:
Ya’ll dropped your pockets!

[They fall. Another group enters. They fall. Another. And another. Again and again.]

Steve:
You dropped your pockets. Hey, you! Dropped your pocket. Excuse, ma’am! Dropped your pocket!

[Steve continues until all are on their hands and knees surrounding him, searching madly for their “pockets.”]

Steve:
[Shit-eating grin.] Suckers.

End.
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