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4/7/2017 0 Comments

Five One-Minute Plays – Number One: “D Is for Drink”

[Four actors: A, B, C, and D. D is further downstage center, with A, B, and C in a line upstage. They cross downstage to join D on their lines throughout the course of the play. All lines are given to D in pandemonium.]

B:
Hey, you should totally come out with us tonight and -.


ALL:
DRINK!


D:
No, I really don’t think that I should, I have to
-.


ALL:
DRINK!


A:
Congratulations on that thing, we need to celebrate and -.


ALL:
DRINK!


D:
Thanks, but I really need to -.


ALL:
DRINK!


C:
God, I can’t believe
that happened to you, let’s go -.


ALL:
DRINK!


D:
No, that’s okay, I’ll only -.


ALL:
DRINK!


A:
What a shit year, we should probably -.


ALL:
DRINK!


C:
Next year’s gonna be worse, we should
definitely -.


ALL:
DRINK!


B:
Nothing we can do, we might as well -. 


ALL:
DRINK!


D:
No, no, no, I really think that we can -.


ALL:
DRINK!


B:
Gonna be a shit show, we all have to -.


ALL:
DRINK!


A:
Who fucking cares, we just gotta -.


ALL:
DRINK!


C:
Let’s just give up, we can all go -.


ALL:
DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! 


D:
No, no, no -.


[A, B, and C continue shouting “DRINK!” as they encircle D. It is a frenzied bloodbath, and D has become the prey.]

ALL:
DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!


D:
No, please. Stop. Stop it. Please, please, please -.


ALL:
DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!


[They are now on top of D, who has disappeared within them, cowering in fear.]

ALL:
DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!


[They quickly exit, leaving D alone on stage, trembling. D slowly rises and looks out into the audience, speechless. Silence.]


D:
[A deep breath. Gasping for air.] - .


End.
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4/6/2017 0 Comments

Five One-Minute Plays – Number Two: “Overused”

[Four actors facing out.]

Actor 1:
He literally fell in love with me.

Actor 2:
I literally fell in love with her.

Actor 3:
They’re literally in love!

Actor 4:
They are literally head over heels in love!

Actor 1:
I am literally starving!

Actor 2:
I could literally eat a fucking horse right now!

Actor 3:
I literally don’t know where I am!

Actor 4:
I am literally up to my ears in debt.

Actor 1:
[Not really.] I literally want a divorce.

Actor 2:
[Really.] I literally want a divorce.

Actor 3:
I’m so stressed I could literally explode!

Actor 4:
You literally look like fucking shit.

Actor 1:
[It’s a party.] I could literally drink every day of my life!

Actor 2:
[It’s not a party.] I could literally drink every day of my life.

Actor 3:
I’ve literally slept with like a thousand women.

Actor 4:
I am literally the ugliest person in the world.

Actor 1:
[Not really.] I could literally murder everyone in this room.

Actor 2:
[Really.] I could literally murder everyone in this room.

Actor 3:
You are literally a ray of sunshine.

Actor 4:
You are literally a fucking dog.

Actor 1:
I literally can’t even.

Actor 2:
I literally can’t breathe!

Actor 3:
[Not really.] I could literally kill myself right now.

Actor 4:
[Really.] I could literally kill myself right now.

End.

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4/4/2017 0 Comments

Five One-Minute Plays – Number Three: “B+C”

[Two actors facing out.]

Bicycle:
I love cycling in Chicago.

Car:
I hate cycling in Chicago.

Bicycle:
[Loving it.] There are bikes all over the place!

Car:
[Hating it.] There are bikes all over place!

Bicycle:
Best part is: the city is really accommodating the lifestyle.

Car:
Even worse now that there are more bike lanes for these people.

Bicycle:
[Stoked.] And summertime’s just around the corner!

Car:
[Dreadful.] Summertime is just around the corner.

Bicycle and Car:
[Together.] Bikes will be everywhere.

Bicycle:
Drivers can be such pricks sometimes.

Car:
The way those jerks run through red lights? Give me a break.

Bicycle:
Cars completely ignore cyclists, running them off of the road.

Bicycle and Car:
[Together.] It makes me want to scream.

Bicycle:
One thing is for sure, though.

Car:
One thing is clear.

Bicycle:
A bike and a car collide…

Car:
A car and a bike hit each other…

Bicycle and Car:
[Together.] The car is going to win.


End.
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